The
way we speak has powerful impact on our ability to be successful and
happy yet few of us are intentional with our choice of words. Studies
have shown that use of negative words like “no” can actually change the
release of hormones and neurotransmitters to ones that damage key
structures that regulate your memory, feelings, and emotions. Changing
the way we speak to ourselves and to others through making better word
choices can impact our optimism and improve the willingness of others to
hear what we are saying.
Here are a few tips on how to make your language work for you.
The most powerful word in your vocabulary…YET.
Often we make statements like “I can’t speak French” or “I don’t know
how to lose weight” but by adding one little word, yet, to the end of
each sentence you change the sentiment from something you cannot do to
something you aspire to do. Your brain recognizes the subtle difference
between a hopeless statement and one that suggests that at a future time
it will happen. Whenever you start something new, remember this helper
word to make sentences stronger and more hopeful. For example, “I don’t
know anything about economics yet” or “I haven’t clear an exam yet.”
Take BUSY out of your life.
The word busy has certainly become a buzzword of this generation. We
aspire to be busy as though it proves that we are doing important things
and not wasting our lives. Busy implies doing a lot or even struggling
to complete all that needs to be done. I suggest replacing busy with
productive or full. This simple switch empowers you to have a results
that you control without implied turbulence. Getting the hurry gone and
slowing down mentally actually makes us more effective at multitasking.
Don’t have busy days — have productive days!
No more SHOULDs.
The word should doesn’t imply a positive action. It gives external focus
as to why you are doing what you are doing. If you want to act from a
place of personal strength the impetus needs to come from within.
Replacing your shoulds with get to, going to, or can creates a much
stronger statement of intention. For example, don’t say you should be
studying but that you are going to study. Thinking really carefully
about the source of the should is a great exercise. It might be our
peers, our parents, our culture or religion that has caused us to think
we should do something. If that should doesn’t align with what we really
want then is it actually something we want to do?
No more I’ll TRY.
Yoda had it right when he said “Do or do not. There is no try.” Try
implies that you probably won’t do it or be successful. Take try right
out of your vocab to adopt a more positive and powerful mindset. If you
intend to do something, do it. If you have no intention of doing
something then own that. By speaking your truth you align with your
inner-self and actually start to recognize more clearly what you want to
do in your life.
Start talking positively (aka no more negative)
When you move towards what you want rather than away from what you want,
you speak with a much more powerful voice. Instead of saying “I have to
stop dating losers” say ” I will date people who bring out my best”.
Instead of saying ” Stop arguing with your brother” say “I would love to
hear you speak kindly to one another.”
It’s not just what you say but how you say it.
There has been a ton of research about how power postures and body
language affect your ability to be heard successfully. Here are a few
quick tips on how to speak once you have made your word choices:
1. Make eye contact when you speak.
2. Shoulders back.
3. Hands on hips or at your side.
4. Legs hip distance apart.
5. If seated sit forward with arms and legs uncrossed.
6. Use adequate volume to display authority without being loud.
Spending just a bit of time tweaking the way you speak can improve
communication at work, at home, and in your personal relationships. Take
charge of your word choices to transform your mind.
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